My angry self

When something goes wrong, I get angry at myself. I’m not trying to redirect my anger towards other people. I have the decency to admit that everything happening to me is because I position myself in that location, a moment in time, and a group of people.

The most enjoyable moment of the day for me is when I write. I try to write every day at least 500 words. It’s me time. It’s good time. It’s rarely happening. Around 8 pm I get angry on myself for not putting aside time during the day to write. And because you can’t reason with an angry person, I have no success in getting myself to sit down and write. I’m shallowly busy with being angry.

My negotiator mode kicks in and I treat myself as I treat my angry customers. I acknowledge the problem and ask myself what it will take to not be angry. Maybe I need chocolate or a glass of red wine? Maybe I just have to go for a walk?

As you can notice, it’s all about me being angry and nothing to do with the root of the anger which is that I haven’t written that day. Sometimes my “self-treatment” works, sometimes not. About being angry I mean. The day goes by without me writing, anyway.

Come morning I will wake up early and write. There’s a story to tell angry or not.